JULZBOY

2:14am July 19, 2006

Every once in a while, I take the
time to pause and take stock of the things I have done, am doing and am about
to do. I do it by time frames; sometimes by 3-month intervals; at most, every
four years.
I’ll bore you with the latter.

Four years ago,
I couldn’t wait to get out of college. Back then, I had been studying in Ateneo
for almost 16 years, and had longed to get into law school (preferably Ateneo).
I was young, confident and had a beautiful girlfriend. Suffice it to say, I was
all set for law school. Four years later, I had none of the three (haha)

    Let us elaborate:

On aging…well

I no longer am
young. While shopping at Shangri-la last Sunday, I had this sudden feeling
that something was not right. You know the feeling when you’ve gone up to the
16th floor of a building, only to realize that you didn’t hear the
"toot-toot" sound of your car doors locking? Well, this is worse. At
first, I couldn’t put a finger on what seemed to be bothering me. it was only
when I looked over to my sister (who was then trying on her umpteenth pair of
Lacoste shoes), that it hit me. My sister is already a college student… and
I’m 7 years older than she is. My immaturity notwithstanding, it’s quite
intimidating to come to the realization that even great individuals (cough
cough) age.
            
          As recently as three years ago, I entered law school as a
fresh graduate from Ateneo. From top dog to bottomdweller in a span of three short
summer months; that indeed, was a bizarre experience. I called everyone Ates and Kuyas. I was such a jerk. I could tell they hated it. I did it nonetheless. I shouldn’t have been surprised that one year later (my sophomore year), a freshman brazenly asked "Po?" in reply to an innocuous question of mine. I didn’t talk to that person for two whole years. Now that I’m a senior, I don’t even look at the freshmen anymore. As far as I’m concerned, they’re bottomdwellers… and they talk too loudly near my spot at the 3rd floor lib.
            Actually, they remind me too much of how time flies by so fast. Damn them.

Confidence

I had always
thought of being a lawyer as a birthright. In H. Potter-speak, I was a
half-blood prince (my Papa is a lawyer, my mama is a muggle (bank
VP)) and could point to numerous relatives who were practicing law in different
fields. I had the lineage to back up my claim that lawyering was in my blood.
What I failed to consider was that they ALL came from Ateneo law school. I was
the first Esquivias (or any partial mix thereof) to go to UP.

I was also the
first to (initially) regret going there.

My experience in
my first few months was an absolute eye-opener for me. The sheer amount of
readings that I had to go through in my first semester alone was far greater
than the total readings I had to go through in my whole stay in college. Couple
this with the tyrannical way the professors "taught" their students,
and I can only wonder how I survived (up to now, my head is barely above the
water and I’m breathing through my ears). They did this in a manner called the
"Socratic method." For the uninitiated, this form of learning
involves a random shuffling of class cards by the professor. The unfortunate
student whose class card is "randomly" selected will then be grilled
as to what little he or she knows about a particular topic. Quite often there
really isn’t a correct way of answering queries by the Professor. There’s just
the wrong answer or the sit-down-mr.esquivias-you-did-not-study one, (that is,
a 5). In more ideal situations, the blockmates seated on either side of the person
reciting would be kind enough to "radyo" the correct answer to the
answer-er. In my case though, it didn’t (still doesn’t) happen all that much.
You see, my seatmates’ (Remir and Christian) idea of a joke was to get my case
digests WHILE I was reciting. I’ve learned to get even, of course. I’ve since
compiled a number of compromising pictures of both of them with our
barkada/blockmates. Like, I always tell
them, “Mahirap talaga pag under kayo ng mga misis niyo”. To which of course
they reply, “At least may misis, eh ikaw?”

I
pretty much shut up after that.

This leads me to
the topic of Girlfriends:

This
of course, is a misnomer. I am often accused of being involved with more women
than even I give myself credit for. With that in mind, I maintain my position
that for that to apply to me, that word should be separated. To wit, it should
thus read: “Girl Friends”.

Three more
things should be borne in mind by the reader. One, I’ve only had three
girlfriends. Two, I’ve never had a girlfriend from my block/s. This includes my
tenure in Ateneo. No, this is not a Bill Clinton denial (a la “I have never had
sexual relations with that woman”… I keep on forgetting why Monica L was
supposedly down on her knees). Three, I will never have a lawyer as a
girlfriend. Law "student" pwede pa. Hahaha just kidding.

On a more
serious note, I do think that getting into a relationship must be considered
carefully. It involves quite a number of pitfalls particularly the ones
involving the budget of personal time with the study workload. Being an OLA
(office of legal aid) slave is commanding enough and takes up most of my free
time as it is. That is why I can only look in wonder at how some of my best
friends/acquaintances in school make their relationship AND their studies work
out, without their grades suffering too much. I’m SERIOUS, I want to know how
YOU do it?

I suppose one of
the most Baduy quotes I’ve ever heard can sum up what really happens in such
partnerships…

I do have to
leave a caveat that I did NOT write this but have nonetheless found it cute.

“Kapag ang ‘love’, ipinararamdam,
natutuloy”

I’m
already pointing at Remir Halos Macatangay (4C) for coming up with that. I just
have the dumb sense to agree.