JULZBOY

In Your Darkest Hour

-by Julius Esquivias 

It comes at
different times for different people. It comes in different forms. Its myriad effects
causes undue pressure and unnecessarily raises one’s stress levels.  It forces upon you a feeling of helplessness
while choking off your air, practically daring you to give up. Doubt forms
and self-confidence dissolves as frustration envelops your person. You shudder
either in disgust or in trepidation. Your stomach gets squeamish and your knees
start to buckle. You ask the questions, not knowing if they are the right ones.
And you filter answers to hear only those that you want to. Your sense and
sensibilities disappear. Suddenly, you’re so far away from your comfort zone.

Suddenly, you
are all alone.

The weakest
point of your life can come as a complete surprise and leave you helplessly
torn apart. When it does, you feel that everything that matters is at an end. At
such a juncture, your mind conjures Failure as your ultimate destination. Your
rational mind shuts down, and your heart aches for a more glorious past.

You begin to question
yourself even as your whole belief system teeters on the edge. You come to one
of your life’s crossroads and you are forced to choose a path you would have to
navigate. You’re tempted to choose the one with least resistance, knowing you’d
have to choose another more rewarding one. In that instance, you finally see
the failings of both neutrality and weakness of personality. At that period of
time, you understand the need to take a stand and make a life-defining choice.

After taking
that fateful step, life gets better. You wake up from your stupor and realize
you’re okay. You become more conscious of your surroundings, and become more
appreciative of what you have. You realize that empty boxes make pretty good containers.
You recognize that fallen fruits are seeds for the future. You envision your
heroes’ chastisements and echoes of disappointments as prospective storylines
for your later success.

Then you take
steps to make it into reality, and dream of writing about it for posterity.

Your quest to
determine who you are will begin with finding yourself in the shadows of inadequacy.
You may choose to sulk and be a sad soul in your darkest hour. But you may also
choose to be an inspirational fighter. With some luck and perseverance, you can
further yourself to achieve great progress. From the blindness, you can rise and
become that shining Star.

You don’t have
to completely fall.

When your reason
for standing gives way from under you, God is only telling you that it’s about
time that you fly.

This entry was posted on Sunday, June 10th, 2007 at 11:49 am and is filed under My basura moments :), family matters, trapped in Law school. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.